For me, i do lots of kissing, tit licking/sucking, licking up and down my gal's body. i also do lots of painting at the pussy lips, something she i notice she can't resist. No rushing, take my time and observe her. This often "soften" her up and make penetration easy, and also result in a better orgasm for the lady (for guys coming to orgasm is easier, right?).

I am about 14cm+ and girth 12cm+...my girlfren is not big size about 1.6m tall. I only insert into her pussy when she signals her readiness. But once she is aroused, it is amazing her pussy just wraps nicely around my dick nicely. She controls contraction/relaxation of her vaginal muscle to provide the friction and sensation. I guess it is like a dance....