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Old 02-07-2009, 11:54 AM
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Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Bros,

Never thought about this until a real life situation strikes close. A PRC girlfriend (non WL) has been tested positive, got it from her lived-in SG boyfriend who apparently cheong Thai WLs. She's heart-broken and near suscidal.

I'm just wondering would any bros here ever consider maintaining sexual relationship with someone HIV +ve, of couse with the necessary protection, ie CONDOMS at all times (including oral)?

To me, it's almost liked playing with death...but I have actually known of angmohs with their Thai girlfriends (whom are HIV +ve). Crazy but true!

Any thoughts?

BM
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Old 02-07-2009, 12:26 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Quote:
Originally Posted by born_mean View Post
Bros,

Never thought about this until a real life situation strikes close. A PRC girlfriend (non WL) has been tested positive, got it from her lived-in SG boyfriend who apparently cheong Thai WLs. She's heart-broken and near suscidal.

I'm just wondering would any bros here ever consider maintaining sexual relationship with someone HIV +ve, of couse with the necessary protection, ie CONDOMS at all times (including oral)?

To me, it's almost liked playing with death...but I have actually known of angmohs with their Thai girlfriends (whom are HIV +ve). Crazy but true!

Any thoughts?

BM

This one is invitng funny conny remarks from Sam..... interesting to see his comments.

I would be in the same line of what he says.....
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Old 02-07-2009, 12:52 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Quote:
Originally Posted by etct88 View Post
This one is invitng funny conny remarks from Sam..... interesting to see his comments.

I would be in the same line of what he says.....
Bro, u seems to have deep insights into Sam'a thoughts.

Care to share...funny corny regardless.

BM
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Old 02-07-2009, 09:04 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Quote:
Originally Posted by born_mean View Post
Bros,

Never thought about this until a real life situation strikes close. A PRC girlfriend (non WL) has been tested positive, got it from her lived-in SG boyfriend who apparently cheong Thai WLs. She's heart-broken and near suscidal.

I'm just wondering would any bros here ever consider maintaining sexual relationship with someone HIV +ve, of couse with the necessary protection, ie CONDOMS at all times (including oral)?

To me, it's almost liked playing with death...but I have actually known of angmohs with their Thai girlfriends (whom are HIV +ve). Crazy but true!

Any thoughts?

BM

Hi Bro,

This is a very personal choice. but if you want to find out more, I would suggest you visit the the body website. They have a category specifically on this topic. I think they call them "Magnetic couples" or something like that.

You can read other people's question on similar questions and the advice given to them.

Hope this helps.

Flinger
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Old 03-07-2009, 09:15 AM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flinger2 View Post
Hi Bro,

This is a very personal choice. but if you want to find out more, I would suggest you visit the the body website. They have a category specifically on this topic. I think they call them "Magnetic couples" or something like that.

You can read other people's question on similar questions and the advice given to them.

Hope this helps.

Flinger
Wah pardon my ignorance....you mean there's a whole forum on this already? Look's liked this is not such a rarity as I first presumed.

Thanks for the tip...i'll go check it out.

BM
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學習對每一個人都熱情以待,
學習把每一件事都做到完善,
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相信,我們就是自己最重要的貴人。



身是菩提树,心如明镜台,时时勤拂拭,勿使惹尘埃。
菩提本无树,明镜亦非台,本来无一物,何处惹尘埃。

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Old 03-07-2009, 11:24 AM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

i rather screw my 60yrs old virgin cleaning old woman neighbour than taking this risk
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Old 03-07-2009, 12:21 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Quote:
Originally Posted by born_mean View Post
Wah pardon my ignorance....you mean there's a whole forum on this already? Look's liked this is not such a rarity as I first presumed.

Thanks for the tip...i'll go check it out.

BM
Yup, there is a lot of such cases, but most of the time, its between married couples or long term committed relationships or people who have fallen in love emotionally and later find out their partner is HIV+ .

Not so much about WL or FL or sex buddies etc..
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Old 03-07-2009, 12:23 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Quote:
Originally Posted by toiletmarquis View Post
i rather screw my 60yrs old virgin cleaning old woman neighbour than taking this risk
You believe a woman who says she is virgin till she is 60. heh you must be really naive and believe anything people say.

Anyway, its not about having sex with FL or WL or one nigthers etc..

Its about someone you love and have feelings for, what would you do?

You tell the person, you have HIV, bye get lost of my life I guess.
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Old 03-07-2009, 04:31 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flinger2 View Post
You believe a woman who says she is virgin till she is 60. heh you must be really naive and believe anything people say.

Anyway, its not about having sex with FL or WL or one nigthers etc..

Its about someone you love and have feelings for, what would you do?

You tell the person, you have HIV, bye get lost of my life I guess.
What Bro Flinger said is true. The statement from TS was that his friend who is a girl from PRC tested positive for HIV because her boyfren played with Thai girls or something to that extent.

I am assuming that TS means whether the girl is to stay with her boy... and not that he wants to now move in and tackle the girl even though she is HIV positive.

In most cases, living with a HIV positive person is really very very hard. Even if you are not infected, you have to be careful not to get infected because this will also mean a death sentence from you. I have heard of stories where one party has AIDS and the other party still cares for and looks after the infected party. If both parties are already infected, then it will also be a choice of whether the person who was infected by the guy who f**cked around can accept that fact and also death sentence and forgive him.

I also do not think that once you have contracted the virus, having sex is going to be very high on your agenda. (some may say before they die, they wanna have the last banzai) I am sure that you will be wanting to spend time and effort seeking treatment, trying to arrest further progression of the disease and so on... And also I think that most HIV couples will start to enjoy being together and each other's care and comfort instead of thinking when the next bonk is going to happen.

But no matter what the possible combination of who forgives who and so on, the very fact that both parties are positive will entail the responsibility of them being open to other sexual partners and informing any of them of the possibility of the sexual partners contracting HIV.
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Old 03-07-2009, 05:47 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mike1304k View Post

In most cases, living with a HIV positive person is really very very hard. Even if you are not infected, you have to be careful not to get infected because this will also mean a death sentence from you.
Hi Bro,

I just wanted to highlight that been HIV+ is not a death sentence as it used to be be in the 80's . There are now medicine that can help you lead a normal life. Read about people who have been on medicine for more than 20 yrs.

However, it definitely alters the way you live your life as your lifestyle has to change . If you are not married and want to have kids, its going to be a problem, easy to catch illness, taking pills everyday for the rest of your life, side effects of the pills you take, financial costs of medical bills , etc...etc...etc...

Ultimately, the worst would be the stigma that society attributes to you.
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Old 03-07-2009, 06:04 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Better understanding and awareness of this lethal disease will help to educate the infected patient's families and the public, to treat these patients without discrimination, extending them gratitude, respect and love, helping them to walk their short remaining life journey.
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Old 03-07-2009, 06:31 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flinger2 View Post
Hi Bro,

Ultimately, the worst would be the stigma that society attributes to you.
Totally with you on that....

I started this topic as I felt kinda strange draw to this PRC gal. But knowing full well it's just my stupid small head talking!!!

Luckily big head still in control...but i started wondering whether there are people out there who might just proceed despite the obvious risks! Went to those websites on "magnetic couples" and it really blew my mind. However, as you have pointed out, these are more for long-term committed couples. If only for FBs is just not worth it!!!

Have been reading alot of HIV stats lately and it seems there are more cases in SG then what is being officially reported. I'm retiring from commercial sex and FBs for now

BM
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學習對每一個人都熱情以待,
學習把每一件事都做到完善,
學習對每一個機會都充滿感激,
相信,我們就是自己最重要的貴人。



身是菩提树,心如明镜台,时时勤拂拭,勿使惹尘埃。
菩提本无树,明镜亦非台,本来无一物,何处惹尘埃。

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Old 04-07-2009, 10:09 AM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

i'm not sure if samsters are familiar with the LGBT scene, but there is an interesting phenomenon called bugchasing within gay circles, which basically entails deliberately seeking to infect oneself with the HIV virus. conversely, the reverse behaviour for the infecting party is known as giftgiving.

it actually isn't that perplexing a choice. given the already higher rates of HIV infection amongst gay men or even MSMs, as well as the community's wide-spread penchant for barebacking, chances are that you're actually quite likely to be exposed to the virus at some point in time, particularly if your lifestyle already includes a variety of ultra-high-risk activities. given the perceived 'inevitability' of infection, bugchasing is, to some individuals, a measure of control and self-empowerment. if you're gonna get seroconverted eventually anyway, at least let it be on your terms and at an opportunity of your choosing.

on top of that, bugchasing is like the ultimate embodiment of fluid bonding. one shares and exchanges bodily fluids, down to the viruses that they carry. to some, there is something compelling, sexy, romantic and deeply touching in that. though it has to be said that most bugchasing isn't really done under the umbrella of a concept of 'love' or 'monogamy'.

i've not come across an approximate equivalent in straight culture though. even within the swinger community, there is nothing analogous or even close. but i will not be surprised if some rare examples exists in the straight-scape, though probably within the context of a close-ended, monogamous relationship more than anything. i guess bugchasing and giftgiving also arose outta specific if complex socio-cultural contexts that do not really apply to most straight folks. it's just another choice ultimately, i guess.

anyway, HIV isn't quite the death sentence that it used to be perceived to be. with highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART), the average life span of infected persons has been shown to be dramatically improved. still, kinks remain and the treatment regime doesn't seem to work as well on everyone. it is also, undeniably, an expensive course of treatment.

one thing to note though. due to the significant genetic variability demonstrated by the HIV virus, prior infection does not guarantee against repeated infections, unlike many other viruses. while coinfections are not uncommon, there is also a possibility of reinfection or superinfection, especially if it involves a more genetically distant strain. unfortunately, multiple infections are also associated with more rapid disease progression and increased mortality rates. which is probably why the practice of barebacking appears to have such lethal consequences, whether these acts are associated with active bugchasing or not.

all this might sound like irresponsible behaviour but i'd rather not judge if i don't or can't really understand. how many of us samsters can claim to have an intimate knowledge of the ins and outs of the LBGT scene anyway? whatever the case may be, if you are frightened, protect yourself. keep the rubber on or just be faithfully monogamous (or abstain altogether). HIV and AIDS are not gonna go away anytime soon. we all have to learn to live with the scourge of this deadly, debilitating disease in our midst. and that definitely includes treating HIV-positive individuals as the wonderful and flawed human beings each and every one of us is.

Last edited by tuxedosam; 04-07-2009 at 10:30 AM.
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Old 04-07-2009, 06:43 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

you want to risk your life because you want to pork some china girl with HIV? why not just get a gun and shoot yourself? it would be less miserable. forget that girl.
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Old 06-07-2009, 05:30 PM
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Re: Will you continue a relationship with someone tested HIV +ve?

Treat her as a friend still ok. But to go further than that including sexual relationship with protections require lots of courages and strengths.

As we know although HIV is not as deadly as before with current medications to prolong the lifespan of the person. It still remains uncurable.

TS, better stay outside the danger zone and remain as friends.
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