Ex girlfriend is asking for alimony.

[primechoice]

Update:

She sent an email this time, telling me that she wants to proceed to ask for court order for paternity test. again, Without prejudice is hugely written on top.

She then asked me for half the original amount but this time, she wishes for me to pay her in a lump sum up to the kid is 21 years old. At this point, i believe she is still asking for alimony from her ex husband.

Any law firm that you guys recommend?


Bros who keep telling me to bear responsibility, note this: She wants me to bear responsibilities but she doesnt want me to go near the child at all. She doesnt even want the child to know my existence.

[adonis]

No one can force u to go for a DNA test. "Without Prejudice" means whatever's written in dat letter cannot be used in court. If it wasn't proven dat u r the father, she can't claim money from u. If u give her a lump sum, might she later ask u for alimony? Will she, thru her child, claim a portion of your estate after your death? I'm not in the legal profession.

[GorengPisang75]

Maybe i can relate my story to you.

I had this happen 4 times to me, yes correct 4 times.

Apparently some girls will try to cook up stories when you are doung well in
life.

1st time i also like you from no where she popped up and tell me i have a 5 yr
old son, but then i slept with her 7 yrs back, so unless she was pregnant for 2
yrs, i knew it was bullshit

2nd time, same like yours, send letter say this apply and all the nonsense
same like yours, i ask her to turn up at a clinic for DNA test, she refused i
know again bullshit.

3rd time also same as 2nd time

4rd time, was a bit complicated, because the little girl looked like me and i
asked for DNA test and she proceeded, i paid for the test, i was not the
father. This one i think she really thought i was the father, so i don't blame
her.

The other 3 clowns were trying to extort money out of me.

Basically keep cool and your child maintenance is only applicable if the child is
yours.

But that being said the lawyer letter is all bullshit one, no need to scared, i
even got one called up the lawyer for the second one and scold him "pundek".

So don't be afraid, but that being said, if it really is your child, try to support
abit, else tell the lady that you will sue her for damages liable due to
harrasment if the DNA come out false.

[GorengPisang75]

Originally Posted by primechoice

She then asked me for half the original amount but this time, she wishes for
me to pay her in a lump sum up to the kid is 21 years old. At this point, i
believe she is still asking for alimony from her ex husband.

I forgot to add something, she is basically trying to ask you to settle out of
court, trying to frighten you.

Tell her turn up at the DNA clinic with the kid (if you choose to find out if the
kid is yours) or just ask her to fuck off.

If she gives all kind of cock excuses then you know, she wants "Money" and
kid is not yours at all

Don't let this girls take advantage of you, do stand up for yourself.

[spidey7]

TS y no discreet rs btw u n ex gf?

[primechoice]

Originally Posted by spidey7

TS y no discreet rs btw u n ex gf?

I dont get what you are trying to say.

[primechoice]

Originally Posted by GorengPisang75

I forgot to add something, she is basically trying to ask you to settle out of
court, trying to frighten you.

Tell her turn up at the DNA clinic with the kid (if you choose to find out if the
kid is yours) or just ask her to fuck off.

If she gives all kind of cock excuses then you know, she wants "Money" and
kid is not yours at all

Don't let this girls take advantage of you, do stand up for yourself.

Honestly, i think if he is mine, i need to bear responsibility. The only thing stopping me is that, she kept saying i should bear my responsibility but i cannot claim fatherhood of the child at all. she doesnt want anything related to me at all. i find that unfair.

[Huntsman]

Custody and Visitation rights is one issue.
Child support is another.
Whether the court allows you to have visitation rights or custody, you will still need to pay child support if the child is yours.
The mother has no right to deny visitation.

Problems you may or may not have still hinge on one issue - Whether if the child is yours.
If the child is not, then you have no more problems.
If it is yours, you will need to take the appropriate steps to take care of the child.

If the child is yours, you can through a lawyer, have the mother give a sworn statement that she is not receiving nor asking for any child support from any 3rd party eg, her ex husband.
You can then, also through your lawyer, contact her ex husband to verify if he is also paying child support for that child, or if any other parties besides you and the ex is paying child support.

[Huntsman]

In this instance, I suggest you press the issue instead of being passive and reacting to her moves. Where lawyers are concerned, I do not know any nor able to recommend any.
But just for pressing ahead with the DNA test, having a lawyer or not will not change the result.

Just don't go and sign any pre conditions such as if the child is yours, you will pay child support and is willing to forego visitation.
Although Singapore courts will probably declare such pre agreements as null and void should you decide to contest it, it still does unnecessarily complicate matters.

[GorengPisang75]

Originally Posted by primechoice

The only thing stopping me is that, she kept saying i should bear my
responsibility but i cannot claim fatherhood of the child at all. she doesnt
want anything related to me at all. i find that unfair.

It is not up to her to say whther you can or cannot visit your child, that
depends on the presiding judge. The judge will give you day/time you can
visit your kid.

Seriously if you ask my opinion, she does not want you the visit the child
because she is afraid you will discover the child is not yours to begin with.

This is a ploy for money, the kid definately not yours trust me, i have been
through this shit 4 times already.

[adonis]

If your exgrrlfren agrees to visitation rights for u, she might renegade on her word or migrate overseas. What then?

GorengPisang75, dat was v good input. Thks.

[323bimmer]

If she want to claim, then she should be the one paying for the DNA test. If she don't want to pay for it, then don't claim lor.

Even if she go to the courts to apply, the courts will ask for proof first. If no proof, then the court may order a DNA test, but I believe the payment for the DNA test should be from the person who made the complaint. Otherwise, any woman can claim any man in the street and we all men have to pay like siao.

Even if it ends up the child is yours, let the courts decide the amount if she is unreasonable. I believe the court will be the most reasonable.

[Huntsman]

Originally Posted by 323bimmer

Even if she go to the courts to apply, the courts will ask for proof first. If no proof, then the court may order a DNA test,

In a particular case a few years back, a local court decided it has no right to compel or order an individual to take a DNA test for paternity issues.
The mother convinced the guy that she just wanted to put a name on the birth cert and will not request for anything after. The guy agreed and went for the test, on the condition that he need not provide for the child if the child was his.
Tests confirmed the child was his.

The mother then went back on her word and requested child support.
The prior agreement between them was made null and void.
The guy was ordered to pay child support in that case.

However, I don't know if the law has been changed since then.

[LimAhHuat]

Originally Posted by adonis

GorengPisang75, dat was v good input. Thks.

Good points from him

[JacqueMerlin]

Originally Posted by Huntsman

In a particular case a few years back, a local court decided it has no right to compel or order an individual to take a DNA test for paternity issues.
The mother convinced the guy that she just wanted to put a name on the birth cert and will not request for anything after. The guy agreed and went for the test, on the condition that he need not provide for the child if the child was his.
Tests confirmed the child was his.

The mother then went back on her word and requested child support.
The prior agreement between them was made null and void.
The guy was ordered to pay child support in that case.

However, I don't know if the law has been changed since then.

Happened to me once. An 'ex' came to me claiming her baby is mine and wanted to do a DNA test so that she can 'have a peace of mind'. I said no. I knew that she will change her mind. Never believe it if a girl says you should do a DNA test for whatever reasons. Tell her to eff off. She is using the child to demand for money, the child is a weapon to her. These kind of cases happen mainly with very clever, scheming girls. Never fall for that nonsense. Never believe any promises they make. They have only one aim. Make you the source of their income.