Relationship problem

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by RedSotong

it will be a very remarkable scene in the rest of life if my girlfriend really changes and we manage to put the relationship back into the track.....

If you get back together hoping to recapture the bliss that existed when you first met, forget it! It won't happen. The relationship will NEVER be the same again.

Every time you screw her in future, memories of her spreading her legs for that other guy will come back to haunt you. It will drive you nuts.

Once trust is destroyed, it can never be restored plus there is every chance that she'll cheat on you again. People don't change overnight. Behavior patterns are pretty much hardwired into their psyche.

Just close the door and move on. It's the best way of handling things. It also gives you the opportunity to find someone better.

[titan]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Every time you screw her in future, memories of her spreading her legs for that other guy will come back to haunt you. It will drive you nuts.

Once trust is destroyed, it can never be restored plus there is every chance that she'll cheat on you again. People don't change overnight. Behavior patterns are pretty much hardwired into their psyche.

Just close the door and move on. It's the best way of handling things. It also gives you the opportunity to find someone better.

boss: i agreed totally.. its sorta kind of stain which cannot & never be removed.

TS: spend some time letting this girl go.. u need time, space, new friends, etc..

u never know how many more girls are out there waiting for u to fish!

cheer up!

[FierceCow]

Dear Red Sotong,

After spending sometimes reading through and understanding the whole situation, I have observed a few things.

1. You wanted to give her a 2nd chance and yet afraid the same thing happen again.

2. Other bros give u advice that unless u can forget about what happen and move on in r/s, then maybe you should carry on the r/s with her.

Point 1 has contradict Point 2.
Yes, you love her enough to give her the chance.
But the situation is

A) she feels loving you lesser that she chose to be with the guy and having sex with him as he told him he is single.

B) and NOT in a spur of temptation and horniness, she has sex with the guy"

OK, if the situation is B, maybe still can savage... Situation A, means at the point of time she have chosen someone else because she has fallen in love with another guy and things are getting dull btw u and her.

WELL, all marriage couples will tell u this, in life there will be dull period in marriage. So does that means, during a dull period, if a genuine single guy whom your then wife (assume u guys married) falls in love with could just take her away and filed u with a divorce because she love u lesser or not love u anymore...

Well, Situation A, though she never broke off with you, but can see mentally she prepared to do so.. just that it happens the guy cheated her about marriage status..

SO put the guy cheating aside, Cut loss cut the damage...she already intend to pursue the one she love most and it is not u... because of the special situation, she came back to you...

so if next time u guys married, a next guy who she love more, she might walk off with him or worst still because of guilt towards you...she have sex with other guys but still with u coz u are the husband but she love u less...

These are some really practical points u must ponder bro...before u make the decision... It is actually very clear cut...hope u think through.

Warm Regards,
FierceCow

[joew2005]

i would think tat she is worse than a whore.
if she k do it once 2 u,she k(will) do it again.
tis type of thing is diff fr visiting a whore ..... she has got feeling 4 tis guy

[RedSotong]

I totally agree with all of you above..

I didn't study a lot during my school days.
I always see people asking for a second chance in life.
I start part time working when I am 14 years old,
I see relationship of my friends in and out, in and out.
I am wondering when will they actually find one true love.

This gf of mine is only my 2nd serious relationship with.
I do have those happy times girlfriends which i know they ain't for commitment, they only care for today and love is something they believe can eat.

I not sure how many of you will disagree with me and wish to slap me with their dick to wake me up.
My girlfriend, true, she have sex with another guy. She is unfaithful to me.
How could she have feeling with another guy and yet want to ask for a chance to come back to me ?

In my life, I encounter countless after marriage husband, with affair with KTV girls, WL and SYT Thai, PRC, VN, MY, SG.
So when guys make love with another woman, their wife ain't hurt ? their girlfriend won't feel the betray of trust ?

Wife esp, they are married to the guy, with kids. What more can they do beside divorce and live on and hope another guy will find love again ?

Most of them shallow their pride, hope their husband is just fooling outside and if they still come back home, they are satisfied.

I know this is about my relationship problem, i trying to view from all point of view and, and i had already decided, before creating this thread, to move on with her and giving her a chance. A chance, not another chance.

3 bros had share their stories, some close the chapter, some went on and on, some just went on and the love flame dies off.

If a guy deserve another chance when his wife found out his affair.

Should girl deserve it too ?
Does opp. sex have different advantages ?
or it is the Ego ?

[RedSotong]

Originally Posted by FierceCow

so if next time u guys married, a next guy who she love more, she might walk off with him or worst still because of guilt towards you...she have sex with other guys but still with u coz u are the husband but she love u less...

These are some really practical points u must ponder bro...before u make the decision... It is actually very clear cut...hope u think through.

Bro FierceCow,

I can understand what is the message you delivering to me, thanks.

This is her first time, i am not sure why many of us, in fact including myself, have this mindset "If got once, surly got twice."
So I mentioned above, I want to give her this one chance. One Chance, not another chance.

Yes, i really love her like crazy, I always thinking of where is she, what she doing, how is her work, have she eat when together with her. Every time hope to give her surprises together with me.

She is qns-ing herself just now when I try to talk to her...
she asking herself, do she still have feelings for me ... she feels that she don't deserve me
now I am totally confuse.

[FierceCow]

Originally Posted by RedSotong

I know this is about my relationship problem, i trying to view from all point of view and, and i had already decided, before creating this thread, to move on with her and giving her a chance. A chance, not another chance.

3 bros had share their stories, some close the chapter, some went on and on, some just went on and the love flame dies off.

If a guy deserve another chance when his wife found out his affair.

Should girl deserve it too ?
Does opp. sex have different advantages ?
or it is the Ego ?

If u have decided to move on with her, I sincerely wish that really put that behind you. Let the past be the past.

Not about opp sex have different advantages, Just that in this practical real world, all of us know:
1. Man can have sex without feelings involved, merely fooling around.
2. Woman are emotional creatures...they involved feelings...

If for woman, once they discover their hubby is in affair because he love her less or prepare to leave her...likewise i will not encourage the r/s to go on...

But since u have decided...I wish u best of luck and hope for ur r/s to work out. Best Wishes.

Regards,
FierceCow

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by RedSotong

Should girl deserve it too ?
Does opp. sex have different advantages ?
or it is the Ego ?

She doesn't love you and she doesn't care about YOUR feelings. She's trying to salvage the relationship only because the other guy is married. You're just a crutch to see her through till she finds someone else.

Had he been single and willing to marry her, you would be history as far as she's concerned. She would have left you to wallow in your grief while she happily went for her sex fueled honeymoon.

If you allow her to manipulate you, you're a moron.

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by RedSotong

Guys and girls,

i am committed to my girl only. I never go out with another girl or cheat behind her back.

2 weeks ago, I found out she cheating behind me.
.

You dun need to made your thoughts and life so complicated.
You only need to realised one fact, and that is to love and take care of yourself.

What do I mean??

You sounds like a great guy who are committed and faithful to your other half. I believe that is your principle and belief, and needless to say, it will be what you expect from your other half as well. So why stop believing in what you felt was the right appraoch to a better relationship?
See..., you are not loving yourself enough to protect your own interest and happiness. You wanted to give her a chance.

Sure, some do change for the better. BUT..., can you really forgive and forget? It takes 3 years to trust a person and only 3 mins to loose it.
What if one fine day you saw her sms from a "guy friend", will the tots of her previous betrayal rush back to hunt you?
It won't be the same anymore.

Alot of better gals are looking for faithful other half, so move on, get your butt out of the house and go meet them.

As for her, dun need to worry, the breakup with you might be good for her to learn and grow to be more responsible and mature. It may do her good instead, if she ever learn.
Cheers

[jf66312]

bro ,

dun use violence...understand you are hurting but violence donyt solve anything & it might backfire..

you are lucky you found out about this before she is married to you..

like most bros here say , if there is a 1st time , chances of a 2nd time is there..

if the guy is able to con your girl just by sms..it tells something...your gf is not strong enough to withstand temptation....

for a guy at 29 years old , you are nearing your peak...even if we guys get married at 30 plus , no one will say anything but its different for a lady..

what i can suggest is give the both of you some space now...do not meet & contact & think things through carefully..

marriage is for life....if u decide to forgive her , it must come from your heart & you should not bear hatred or any thoughts of vengeance...if not life is going to be very miserable & both parties will not have peace of mind...

like i said...the choice is yours...the ball is in your court...

take care bro & i hope you make the right choice for yourself..

cheers

[Ninjaron]

Hi,

I think both parties are just as guilty, not only the guy. My advise is move on. I was cheated by my ex gf once and i tried to give her another chance but that 6mths of chance was hell for both of us because everyday i will be questioning her and doubting her. Not a day is without quarrel. Finally i decided to let go and it felt really good after that.

Please don't ever think of getting back at the guy in an illegal way, you risk getting your future ruined and its not worth it. If he loses the ability to work you will have to repay his loss of income. Think with your head.

Let it go, they will have their retribution.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by Ninjaron

My advise is move on.

Should be : "My ADVICE is to move on.".

"Advise" is a verb.

[xyman]

Originally Posted by RedSotong

Wuming bro,

yes, that's how I am feeling.

If the guy didn't appears, maybe we are rock and roll into our 5th year and i planning to ROM 2010 or 2011.

Because of the guy appearance, my girlfriend believes his love message SMS and by all his loving touch to his words, my girlfriend got lesser feelings for me.

that fucker con my girlfriend he is not married and now after I found out, he didn't even message her sorry for all his action.

he is 100% toying my girlfriend and now he cause our relationship to have a crash landing.

I only knows he stays in Wdls 55X something, 6 floors.

If wlds have 550 till 559, it's 10 blocks and 6 floors x 10 units = 600 units.
I go comb that area, I will get him i believe, and I just comb the car park for his ride.

I am really lost, if i really beat him and crash his nuts, what do i benefit from it ?

You are lucky that this affair come out to light before you two get married. If not, she will use the Woman's Charter against you. Woman can cover their tracks well and man usually believe their lame excuses.

Look on the bright side. This is a blessing in disguise. You family must have done very good deeds for this to be discover before u two get married.

[xyman]

Originally Posted by Wuming52

wat do u benefits from it?
i can say wat can u get back....
ur pride i should say...
and as for ur gf.... i really dunno how how to advise liao
byt wat i believe is "wat goes around comes aorund"
and karma...
damn this kind of fucker

there is really a thing call karma. You need to experience it to know. And the effect is not immediate, it may a few months to few years for it to goes back to the other party. We humans being are just a "bacteria" in this universal. there is always a higher force out there.

We thought we can control our destiny but little do we realise that all the things we do is part of the plan that is already plan for us. Confusing....haha

[xyman]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Should be : "My ADVICE is to move on.".

"Advise" is a verb.

Amazing that no matter how many times u post this, we still use advise.. haha