Sick and tired of being a Loser

[SushiJiro]

Been single for the past 3 years since my last relationship ended. Chanced upon my ex-gf FB and see that she is blissfully married and has a 1-year old son now. And inevitably I asked myself, what have i done with my own life for the past 3 years?
I have spent the last 3 valentines' day and CNY alone and mostly likely the coming one too... and more important than any special occasions, I am ashamed about how my life is stuck in a rut.
Naturally, you would ask why am I not picking myself up and moving on with life? Why am I not seeing anyone new?

Now here's where my issues lies - It is not that I did not try. In fact, I have never tried so hard in my life. I have tried everything- from having friends/colleagues introducing their female friend to me, to getting to know a complete new gal at the club.
But no matter what i do, the outcome seems to be always the same- the other party will take an extremely long time to reply sms and from her response, it is clear she is not the least interested in me (even as a friend).

I seemed to be perennially shut off by people now and there is almost nothing I can do when the other party simply does not respond. Things were not always like this, and I have had several normal relationships before. I don't know what has changed ( i.e. Could i have become extremely grotesque overnight) but things just aren't the same anymore.

[mario21]

Don't give up, keep doing and u can make it. Maybe 缘分 not yet arrive. Cheers

[DocD]

I'm not the religious sort but girls especially are social creatures when it comes to relationship. If you join church or some kind of dance activity club lidat would be hard to stay single for long.

Here's a secret: When you do see a girl you like, try to find something wrong like teeth crooked, annoying voice. Lidat you will be more confident and avoid putting the girl on a pedestal.

[flowbow]

Don't give up... The right one will come along someday

[mackewell]

Bro, i never had a girlfriend for the past 27 yrs(dont count FL/WL). U are better off than me leh lol any freaking time!

But then, i never give up. U shld not too. No girl will like a guy who is not optimistic. Focus on your career , go out socialize and learn to take up more hobbies. I so stiff and straight forward, i think you are not like me , so sure can find one in the near future lol.....

[Blast88]

Originally Posted by SushiJiro

Been single for the past 3 years since my last relationship ended. Chanced upon my ex-gf FB and see that she is blissfully married and has a 1-year old son now. And inevitably I asked myself, what have i done with my own life for the past 3 years?
I have spent the last 3 valentines' day and CNY alone and mostly likely the coming one too... and more important than any special occasions, I am ashamed about how my life is stuck in a rut.
Naturally, you would ask why am I not picking myself up and moving on with life? Why am I not seeing anyone new?

Now here's where my issues lies - It is not that I did not try. In fact, I have never tried so hard in my life. I have tried everything- from having friends/colleagues introducing their female friend to me, to getting to know a complete new gal at the club.
But no matter what i do, the outcome seems to be always the same- the other party will take an extremely long time to reply sms and from her response, it is clear she is not the least interested in me (even as a friend).

I seemed to be perennially shut off by people now and there is almost nothing I can do when the other party simply does not respond. Things were not always like this, and I have had several normal relationships before. I don't know what has changed ( i.e. Could i have become extremely grotesque overnight) but things just aren't the same anymore.

TS,
Apparently, there might be some things wrong about you, is it your attitude, behaviour or others factors causing people keeping distance from youPl do a self -reflection.

[greenbeans]

Bro! What's wrong with being single!? How I wish I was... Just think of the freedom you have! You can go cheong any night of the week without someone nagging at you for going out too much, drinking too much... sigh...

[Clemend]

Its alway take times to meet the Miss Right. Nothing come easy

[Gump]

Don't worry bro. Where there is life, there is hope. Never give up!

[wonderbeezz]

If you give up now, you will have nothing for the rest of your life. If you don't give up, you will eventually meet the person who will share her life with you. It's just a matter of time. Perseverance will win the day!

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by SushiJiro

what have i done with my own life for the past 3 years?

1 thing is certain. You are still alive and kicking

Originally Posted by SushiJiro

Now here's where my issues lies - It is not that I did not try. In fact, I have never tried so hard in my life. I have tried everything- from having friends/colleagues introducing their female friend to me, to getting to know a complete new gal at the club.

But no matter what i do, the outcome seems to be always the same- the other party will take an extremely long time to reply sms and from her response, it is clear she is not the least interested in me (even as a friend).

I seemed to be perennially shut off by people now and there is almost nothing I can do when the other party simply does not respond. Things were not always like this, and I have had several normal relationships before. I don't know what has changed ( i.e. Could i have become extremely grotesque overnight) but things just aren't the same anymore.

No offense. IMHO sometime when a person try too hard, he does not realize that he make the girls feel very uncomfortable and warning sign of a desperatdo. Just go with the flow

Originally Posted by SushiJiro

I am ashamed about how my life is stuck in a rut.

What's there to be ashamed of your life? You should only be ashamed of yourself if you give up now and .......................below..........You already know the truth about life

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpos...98&postcount=7

Originally Posted by SushiJiro

Totally agreed. Life is full of ups and downs. As the saying goes "留得青山在". A personal view after being through my fair shair of life experiences is, as important as money and relationships are, health is probably your biggest gift in life. Without with, anything else is meaningless.
As long as you are still alive and breathing, i guess there is always a chance of turning things around....

Good luck!

[Docow1000]

bro TS, hang in there and keep trying. Got try, got chance. Once you stop trying, then there's no chance.

Sometimes the timing isn't right or the person just no affinity. Since you had several relationships before, you will know when the right one comes along lor..

[wayne23416]

Bro,

I honestly don't know what is wrong..but thinking abt your problem, I realized that I ha the same problem couple of years back too!!! Yea..staying single for a year or two is the worse feeling in the world..let alone 27(I feel u bro)..but I realized what went wrong..

I lacked a social life...I have no friends (none locally)..and one of the brothers here said is true!! Ladies r social creatures...they wanna b seen at be-seen places like Zouk, Butter Factory with an accessory(a tall strapping guy or a guy who can make her laugh)..so the next time u text a lady or bring her out, show her the wealth of knowledge u know abt things..it can be random things..spark her curiosity..get her to want to see u again...

The easiest thing I do is ask "how's your day?" Some would say "like that lor" probe and ask more...from there, u can talk the same language with her...or if she automatically tells u, u can pick up points from her day which seem more interesting....

Oh...and if u got some balls of steel, ask to hold her hand and show her a cute little magic trick..or jus hold her hand and compliment her..


I'm no Love Doctor..I'm just another brother sharing...

[SushiJiro]

Thanks for all the advices and encouragments given by bros here... after all the setbacks both in relationships and life in general, I think i really need to see some positivity!

I wish there was a simple solution to my problems, but i know sadly in reality there wouldn't be.

I have tried many things- from improving my appearance, seeking advice from female friends/colleagues to changing my approach towards dating.

But the outcome of each encounter seems to be largely the same so far- the other party takes a long time to reply, shows little interest and the interaction usually ends within a few weeks.

[SushiJiro]

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

What's there to be ashamed of your life? You should only be ashamed of yourself if you give up now and .......................below..........You already know the truth about life

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/showpos...98&postcount=7

Good luck!

Totally agreed... thanks for the encouragement bro