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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #31  
Old 25-05-2017, 01:06 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

I have been with my FB/GF for 7 years now

cant say its been easy

but we have come to a understanding of sorts.

We have our families, then we have our lives.

Its not the intense sex driven relationship of the past

But we still talk and message daily and share when we have our problems.
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  #32  
Old 25-05-2017, 04:54 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cassandradream View Post
I was jumping into conclusion but now he is back to his normal self. We had an open communication and made sure we understand our position. We both have nothing to give other than some time, attention and listening ear and we should never let negative things tear us apart.

He is my bestfriend. The only thing is, it comes with benefits so we can't be friends in the real world.
Sis, no matter how enduring your relationship is now it will one day come to an end. When there is feeling and sex involved so long as both of you are not man and wife be prepared, for circumstances will one day force you apart.

I was in one for 25 years and yet one day she walked away without a word... But it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before! At least I have that 25 years of happy memories with someone else in an unhappy marriage!
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  #33  
Old 25-05-2017, 05:57 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by yang punk View Post
Sis, no matter how enduring your relationship is now it will one day come to an end. When there is feeling and sex involved so long as both of you are not man and wife be prepared, for circumstances will one day force you apart.

I was in one for 25 years and yet one day she walked away without a word... But it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before! At least I have that 25 years of happy memories with someone else in an unhappy marriage!
I know one that has been there for 30 over years. Uncle already in his 60s so his affair started 35 or more years ago.

yeah I think what you say is true. someday we either walk away by dying or we just split. I am in the 7th, and every day I recognize it could just end that day.
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  #34  
Old 26-05-2017, 05:07 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

i m in my 2nd yr ..... its a marriage i never had .... everiday i also cherish the time tog becos it could end anytime .....
  #35  
Old 26-05-2017, 06:53 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

TS, there is no secret to keep the relationship. But the relationship must be secret. Good Luck.
  #36  
Old 26-05-2017, 10:37 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

  #37  
Old 30-05-2017, 05:54 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

and the 7th year affair ended today

just got tired of hiding, lying and feeling guilty

tired of the abuse, and the unevenness of the treatment.

funny thing is years ago couldn't walk away, somehow over the years I started to fade too.

today is a new beginning.

wouldn't want to have a affair again, heavy price to pay. almost left my family for someone like this.

that would have been the worse price to pay.
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  #38  
Old 30-05-2017, 06:13 PM
senters89 senters89 is offline
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

bro shadow warrior,

slowly but surely you will get over it. life is never perfect.

Although she is gone, but do remember the memories, the laughter, romantics times you had with her. 7 years is 1/7 to 1/8 of your life.

if she is happier to be without you, your blessing shall be with her. ai yi ge ren, zhen zheng yao de shi ta kuai le.

when you chose this route 7 years ago, you would had knew that 1 day this will end.

Stay postive and smile.
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  #39  
Old 30-05-2017, 08:27 PM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by senters89 View Post
bro shadow warrior,

slowly but surely you will get over it. life is never perfect.

Although she is gone, but do remember the memories, the laughter, romantics times you had with her. 7 years is 1/7 to 1/8 of your life.

if she is happier to be without you, your blessing shall be with her. ai yi ge ren, zhen zheng yao de shi ta kuai le.

when you chose this route 7 years ago, you would had knew that 1 day this will end.

Stay postive and smile.
no issue. but thanks for the encouragement

sure there will be some withdrawal signs at first. but I think long term is for the best.

funny thing about relationship is I started by cheating on my wife. And it ended up with the affair partner cheating on me. Ironies of life.
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The Best Way to overcome heart break is in the arms of another. You focus on making money, you get girls, you focus on your body, you get sex, you focus on the girl, you get NOTHING but heartache and disappointment

Last edited by Shadow_warrior; 31-05-2017 at 02:26 AM.
  #40  
Old 31-05-2017, 02:38 AM
cassandradream cassandradream is offline
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior View Post
and the 7th year affair ended today

just got tired of hiding, lying and feeling guilty

tired of the abuse, and the unevenness of the treatment.

funny thing is years ago couldn't walk away, somehow over the years I started to fade too.

today is a new beginning.

wouldn't want to have a affair again, heavy price to pay. almost left my family for someone like this.

that would have been the worse price to pay.
YES, We entered this relationship with an open mind that it can end one day in a blink-of-an-eye. We are prepared. But our hearts will never be prepared for the pain it will cause. I feel for you. I have been guarding my heart to fall so deeply because I know it can never be. But I know for a fact when the time comes, I will cry a river. I will have those wonderful memories with me for life.

I know I love him and I care about him a lot. I know he will understand me too if one day I will end it, it is never easy. But to risk my marriage, it must be worth it and I know he is worth all the risk.

At first, I thought I am blind and stupid but I realized I am just really happy. Even with just talking to him. He is a guy bestfriend I never had. If one day this will end, yes, sex can end but I think I am capable of making him a friend for life. We both hope that the secret life will end and will enter the real life. Fantasy, maybe....
  #41  
Old 31-05-2017, 02:43 AM
cassandradream cassandradream is offline
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by yang punk View Post
Sis, no matter how enduring your relationship is now it will one day come to an end. When there is feeling and sex involved so long as both of you are not man and wife be prepared, for circumstances will one day force you apart.

I was in one for 25 years and yet one day she walked away without a word... But it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before! At least I have that 25 years of happy memories with someone else in an unhappy marriage!
wow that was a feat. 25 years. It can be done! Sometimes they become a part of our system that it gets harder to shake off. How did u manage to move on?
  #42  
Old 31-05-2017, 10:16 AM
senters89 senters89 is offline
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladyrain View Post
I know it.
Not everyone understands that loving isnt possessing.
It takes another level to be able to truly love and not demand being exclusive.

What Ladyrain said is very true, it is a totally different level. We cannot suka suka meet, cannot suka suka sms/call each other. it is not easy maintain a relationship like this. Both parties have a family, have their own work to do.

i really salute how you brothers and sisters can last it for 7-25years. 25years le... 1/2 of your adult life.

Reading all these thought make me preparing myself too, today can be very happy with her. tomorrow can be finish instantly. Most important, both of us know our position very well.
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  #43  
Old 01-06-2017, 01:09 AM
cassandradream cassandradream is offline
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

and sometimes we all become guilty and feel the need to end it.

this double life is tough...

worth it, YES.

will I look for another one if this doesn't work, a definite NO.
  #44  
Old 01-06-2017, 09:51 AM
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cassandradream View Post
and sometimes we all become guilty and feel the need to end it.

this double life is tough...

worth it, YES.

will I look for another one if this doesn't work, a definite NO.
at 3 years we were still hot and heavy.

after 7 years. the guilt is not that much and a lot of things fade

when its blown open, and everyone knows, it stings for a while but it goes away and the affair might continue

its it tough to be sneaking around and hiding etc...yes.

Worth it for me? After 7 years? No. Do it again? No

Should have just settled for some paid quick fixes and taken up a hobby or kept a pet.
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  #45  
Old 01-06-2017, 10:46 AM
senters89 senters89 is offline
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Re: What is the secret to long lasting affair?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior View Post
at 3 years we were still hot and heavy.

after 7 years. the guilt is not that much and a lot of things fade

when its blown open, and everyone knows, it stings for a while but it goes away and the affair might continue

its it tough to be sneaking around and hiding etc...yes.

Worth it for me? After 7 years? No. Do it again? No

Should have just settled for some paid quick fixes and taken up a hobby or kept a pet.

When a Player meet a Player... this is how it started ba. Can be together, it is fate, break up one day, it is also fate.
若是缘再苦味也是甜,若无缘藏爱在心田
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