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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #16  
Old 13-07-2017, 02:31 AM
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by winstonlyj View Post
This is actually a very good example, thanks bro.

I know it is hard to quit when you are losing, etc.
Imagine if you are winning every hand (its an exaggeration but imagine winning 60% of the time...)
And yes, that is me right now...
I'm "winning" the gamble but not exactly winning either.

Not sure if I make sense...
Bro on the contrary it is actually hard to quit when you are winning not losing..

I'm just like you but I've been in cold turkey for the past one year because i've found the girl that can make me put down my rampaging streak.

It is not easy esp when we know we have the ability to do it and moreover when we "fail on a mission" we get even more pumped up to conquer her or other girls.. failure doesnt get us down it only spur us on.. which actually make matter worse in this case..

But i dont know.. one day i just woke up and feel that it's meaningless to do this anymore.. whats the point of conquering 1, 10, 100, 1000 or 1M of them? Theres no meaning to it.. maybe there is a preset quota or timeframe within all of us which we are not aware of.. maybe one day when your quota is reached you might just "wake up" from it all..

For now just continue doing whatever you want and feel like doing bcos ultimately the most impt thing in life is to be happy.. but at least im happy for you bcos you are starting to have the realisation of the meaningless of all these shenenigans which mean you would be able to quit soon..

Do update us on your progress bro..

Goodluck~
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  #17  
Old 17-07-2017, 05:04 PM
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by winstonlyj View Post
I'm "winning" the gamble but not exactly winning either.

Not sure if I make sense...
the path of excess will lead to the tower of wisdom
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  #18  
Old 17-07-2017, 10:09 PM
Cheesebeast Cheesebeast is offline
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Maybe you're not ready to settle down yet...
  #19  
Old 18-07-2017, 11:37 AM
Ladyrain Ladyrain is offline
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

What is it in your current gf which makes you want to commit and stop the addiction?
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  #20  
Old 20-07-2017, 07:38 PM
winstonlyj winstonlyj is offline
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by *FiReWoRkS* View Post
Bro on the contrary it is actually hard to quit when you are winning not losing..

I'm just like you but I've been in cold turkey for the past one year because i've found the girl that can make me put down my rampaging streak.

It is not easy esp when we know we have the ability to do it and moreover when we "fail on a mission" we get even more pumped up to conquer her or other girls.. failure doesnt get us down it only spur us on.. which actually make matter worse in this case..

But i dont know.. one day i just woke up and feel that it's meaningless to do this anymore.. whats the point of conquering 1, 10, 100, 1000 or 1M of them? Theres no meaning to it.. maybe there is a preset quota or timeframe within all of us which we are not aware of.. maybe one day when your quota is reached you might just "wake up" from it all..

For now just continue doing whatever you want and feel like doing bcos ultimately the most impt thing in life is to be happy.. but at least im happy for you bcos you are starting to have the realisation of the meaningless of all these shenenigans which mean you would be able to quit soon..

Do update us on your progress bro..

Goodluck~
Impressed. You have aptly empathized my situation. It's not really easy road forward, like you have said. But I've a plan in mind and will keep you all posted :-)
  #21  
Old 20-07-2017, 07:39 PM
winstonlyj winstonlyj is offline
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by happywoody View Post
the path of excess will lead to the tower of wisdom
Words of wisdom. Have you been on a similar route? Have you found your light?
  #22  
Old 20-07-2017, 07:41 PM
winstonlyj winstonlyj is offline
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladyrain View Post
What is it in your current gf which makes you want to commit and stop the addiction?
When I see my future, there's only her in my vision.
Sorry. This is hard to answer satisfactorily; i cannot put a finger on a particular reason(s).
  #23  
Old 21-07-2017, 12:54 AM
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by winstonlyj View Post
Impressed. You have aptly empathized my situation. It's not really easy road forward, like you have said. But I've a plan in mind and will keep you all posted :-)
What's the plan bro?

If you don't mind me asking.

In a way we are on the same kind of boat so was thinking it would be good if we could share our ideas and thoughts.

Cheers.
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  #24  
Old 24-07-2017, 01:34 PM
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by winstonlyj View Post
Words of wisdom. Have you been on a similar route? Have you found your light?
been there, done that.
but not necessarily the wiser for it.

i guess my approach is never say never.
as each new temptation may turn out to be even more compelling than the last.

if u've made a commitment, then don't give up.
even if u falter, fight your way back to the straight line.

the only easy day was yesterday.
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  #25  
Old 27-07-2017, 04:11 PM
MoeLanYong MoeLanYong is offline
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by winstonlyj View Post
Dear SBF bros,

I got into the hunting mood for fbs, ONS about 3-4 years ago.
Started off with about 1-2 flings every 3months and after awhile, I'm picking up gals every other week almost like my second nature... All these while attached.

I enjoy the challenge, the bonks, the achievement of conquering random "guai" looking gals, public fucking, recounting my sexperience to acquaintances, etc. But I'm trying to settle down now as i want to commit to my relationship and I can't get rid of this addiction...

Any bros in similar situation?
Any advice?
Hi TS,
What you said resonated with me, hence this post. I have been through that stage. Not proud of it. Lets just call it a period where one sows his wild oats. At the back of my head, I knew it was my gf that I loved. Those flings and easy meats are just a passing fad. I told myself, when in my 20s, I want to do the things that 20 year olds do. Have fun. Go wild wild west. When in my 30s, I want to do the things normal 30 year olds do. Settle down, get married. Ditto 40s and 50s.

So when the time came, when I turned 30, I married my gf and turned my back on those easy preys. The cold turkey was not easy. There were withdrawals. I cut all associations with the women kind and tried to make myself as ugly as possible by dressing down, being rude etc. I turned to my religion for strength and direction. I was not 100 percent successful. There were 2 other women in the course of my marriage, and I will bear these scars for the rest of my life. Other than this, I am now happily married to my wife. She is my best friend. Now, we still hold hands and date every week after 17 years of marriage. We have 4 kids. So our time is spent devoting ourselves to each other and our kids. Life cannot be more blissful.

I guess what I am saying is, its ok to have an ugly past. We guys may not have done things right. But if our hearts are set in the right place, we will know what to do when the time comes. Don't give up on yourself. You have a glorious future. But you need to choose wisely with your head, not your dick. You need to know when to stop. I hope that by sharing my experience, it can help you. I wish you all the best, my friend
  #26  
Old 27-07-2017, 04:22 PM
MoeLanYong MoeLanYong is offline
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by happywoody View Post
been there, done that.
but not necessarily the wiser for it.

i guess my approach is never say never.
as each new temptation may turn out to be even more compelling than the last.

if u've made a commitment, then don't give up.
even if u falter, fight your way back to the straight line.

the only easy day was yesterday.
Thoroughly understand and agree with what you wrote. My religion taught me a new way. FLEE temptations. Don't even bother trying to psycho yourself not to get tempted. The flesh is weak. Just FLEE. No lunch alone with a woman. No one to one work meetings. After work, no clubbing, just go straight home. Tomorrow, fight to do same thing.
  #27  
Old 29-07-2017, 07:52 AM
Datingafter35 Datingafter35 is offline
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What powderful. Can I buy you lunch and pick your brain? I've learned the game for 3 years and got laid only one from online dating.

I've never been to approach any women but I'm not fat just not competent to be a husband. I can feed myself though.
  #28  
Old 08-08-2017, 12:00 PM
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Re: When easy becomes a problem...

Quote:
Originally Posted by MoeLanYong View Post
Thoroughly understand and agree with what you wrote. My religion taught me a new way. FLEE temptations. Don't even bother trying to psycho yourself not to get tempted. The flesh is weak. Just FLEE. No lunch alone with a woman. No one to one work meetings. After work, no clubbing, just go straight home. Tomorrow, fight to do same thing.
i feel u too bro.
someone wise once said "it's easier not to get in than to get out".

i've not come to that wisdom yet
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