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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #46  
Old 30-08-2018, 02:15 AM
pixlover2016 pixlover2016 is offline
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Re: Betrayed

I remember when I was 17 years old, my 19 years old boyfriend claimed that he was in NS doing extra duties so could not book out to meet me for my birthday.

But I suddenly received a msg from my poly friend that she saw my bf near a club flirting with a girl.

I got angry and told her that my bf was in NS, so she must had seen wrongly.

In the end, she sms me the address and asked me to verify it myself.

I spent 15 dollars plus to grab a cab and went down. Called my friend to update me where they were now. She told me they checked in to a hotel.

I waited outside with her and time was slow somehow.

I waited and waited....hoping everything was just a mistake.

But then when I saw my bf hugging a lady's waist and walked out of the hotel, I really felt the pain....

I went up and confronted them. Bf tried to deny it , saying he was just helping her to bed to rest as she felt dizzy.

But the more he tried to deny, the more loopholes in his lies...

We had a big quarrel while the lady my bf was seeing ran away fast.

My friend and I quarreled with him non stop until he finally admitted he went to bed with her as a fling.

It took me about a year or more to get over this betrayal and moved on.
Looking back, I think even if I forgive him, things would still be the same. The moment he decided to lie, he would lie even more to cover up more lies.
  #47  
Old 30-08-2018, 04:12 AM
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Re: Betrayed

Quote:
Originally Posted by funboi View Post
TS, if u have set your mind about something and going counselling etc. I strongly suggest u to stay away from reading all the posting for the time being. Its important to have a clear mind n not have prejudice or bias. Infos feed to your brain may affect your decision subconsciously without you realizing it.
It is equally important to display sound judgement and reading this thread will help achieve that.
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  #48  
Old 30-08-2018, 09:34 AM
Indigoflashed Indigoflashed is offline
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Re: Betrayed

I really do appreciate all the feedback, and I made a measured decision from these inputs. I forgave her not because I was reminiscing, but because she showed remorse and I could sense that she has come clean.

We now have to overcome this ordeal and it will not be easy no doubt, thus I seek the help of anyone whose marriage has survived an ordeal like this and happy now.

I need tips, pointers drawn from your personal experiences on how to manage this. Anything at all will help!
  #49  
Old 30-08-2018, 12:12 PM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Betrayed

Yes, she may be remorseful, and you forgiving and hopefully it's all good from here on.

Don't forget though that you married someone who values excitement, attention and affection, but puts very little stock in your hard work, sacrifice and responsibility.

'I paid for her education, the car, the house, the renovation, most of our outings, and I never asked her to do a job against her wishes. She practically didn’t have to worry about anything financially.'

What will not change are these values. And you are sure you can deal with it going forward?

You have to be coldly objective about what you want from this relationship, what you can put in, and what you expect in return.

Cos if you're going to continue to put in exactly what you have been putting in so far, you're likely to receive again what you just did.
  #50  
Old 30-08-2018, 12:34 PM
Indigoflashed Indigoflashed is offline
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Re: Betrayed

Quote:
Originally Posted by larue View Post
Yes, she may be remorseful, and you forgiving and hopefully it's all good from here on.

Don't forget though that you married someone who values excitement, attention and affection, but puts very little stock in your hard work, sacrifice and responsibility.

'I paid for her education, the car, the house, the renovation, most of our outings, and I never asked her to do a job against her wishes. She practically didn’t have to worry about anything financially.'

What will not change are these values. And you are sure you can deal with it going forward?

You have to be coldly objective about what you want from this relationship, what you can put in, and what you expect in return.

Cos if you're going to continue to put in exactly what you have been putting in so far, you're likely to receive again what you just did.
That is very true, which is why I have to reassess how I should put into this marriage. In many ways this is like a new marriage, I have to learn how to treat her and draw our boundaries. I also have to work on communicating what I expect from her from now on, which is equal dedication to the things that matter to us.

Perhaps I have spoilt her too much and she didn’t realize how hard one has to work to get a comfortable life. But wise words indeed and thank you for them
  #51  
Old 30-08-2018, 12:47 PM
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Re: Betrayed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indigoflashed View Post
That is very true, which is why I have to reassess how I should put into this marriage. In many ways this is like a new marriage, I have to learn how to treat her and draw our boundaries. I also have to work on communicating what I expect from her from now on, which is equal dedication to the things that matter to us.

Perhaps I have spoilt her too much and she didn’t realize how hard one has to work to get a comfortable life. But wise words indeed and thank you for them
Your wife has a character flaw and character is hardwired and very difficult to change.

In my opinion her remorse is over getting caught more than anything else. She pushed her luck and continued with her deceit until the evidence was irrefutable before she came clean. Of course it's just an opinion but it's based upon my own experiences regarding relationships.

My guess is she has assessed the relationship and decided it is against her interests to lose you hence the display of regret and the willingness to give it another go. In other words it's all about her and nobody else.

However somewhere down the road she may start feeling neglected again and the whole cycle will repeat itself.

You on the other hand will go all out to make her feel even more loved and treasured this time round to try to prevent a relapse. The net result is that she has benefitted from this episode while you are losing out when it should be the other way round.
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  #52  
Old 30-08-2018, 01:04 PM
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Re: Betrayed

Quote:
Originally Posted by sammyboyfor View Post
Your wife has a character flaw and character is hardwired and very difficult to change.

In my opinion her remorse is over getting caught more than anything else. She pushed her luck and continued with her deceit until the evidence was irrefutable before she came clean. Of course it's just an opinion but it's based upon my own experiences regarding relationships.

My guess is she has assessed the relationship and decided it is against her interests to lose you hence the display of regret and the willingness to give it another go. In other words it's all about her and nobody else.

However somewhere down the road she may start feeling neglected again and the whole cycle will repeat itself.

You on the other hand will go all out to make her feel even more loved and treasured this time round to try to prevent a relapse. The net result is that she has benefitted from this episode while you are losing out when it should be the other way round.
TS is probably rich and with resources. Likely old money.
This woman will deplete your resources and leave you when you're broke.
Just wait and see. Since your response actually encourages her to perpetuate her behaviour.
Basically she's getting rewarded for cheating on you.
This will not end well.
  #53  
Old 30-08-2018, 09:54 PM
apppioneer apppioneer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sammyboyfor View Post
The problem is that finding companionship in a wife is the exception rather than the norm.

Men have to take part of the blame for this because they choose the girl that is the most attractive and the best fuck at the time rather than someone that they could bond with on a more spiritual level.

In order for a marriage to work a wife has to be best friend first and foremost. Sex should be secondary. This is because friendship based upon common interests and value systems will far outlast the sexual part of the relationship.
Hi Brother, i have been looking you for similiar situation. i need your help. i pmed you as i need to move on from my shitty past.

Please help.
  #54  
Old 01-09-2018, 01:24 PM
jenoroth jenoroth is offline
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Re: Betrayed

thank god for this forum and topics like these that made me realised that marriage these days are too risky.

70% of divorces are initiated by women in singapore. add that with the protection of women's charter and you are going to be stripped off your dignity, emotional sanctity and your financials.

Only the stupid get married.
  #55  
Old 01-09-2018, 02:18 PM
I Love Boobs I Love Boobs is offline
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Re: Betrayed

Quote:
Originally Posted by jenoroth View Post
thank god for this forum and topics like these that made me realised that marriage these days are too risky.

70% of divorces are initiated by women in singapore. add that with the protection of women's charter and you are going to be stripped off your dignity, emotional sanctity and your financials.

Only the stupid get married.
Societal pressure will mean that if you're in a relationship with a girl, you'll be pressured to marry her.
Co-habiting is still not kosher here.
Then after marriage, the girl has an open Licence to:
- stop work and demand your paycheck
- grow sloppy and fat
- meet and screw other guys because you've "neglected" her.
- be an absolute bitch and control your money, time, make you do chores and take care of the baby (who may be due to cuckolding)
Smart man you!
  #56  
Old 03-09-2018, 02:35 PM
Bullshitlar Bullshitlar is offline
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Re: Betrayed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indigoflashed View Post
I would like to present her side to the story.

She said she felt bored/distracted, and has since professed that she was wrong. Since the incident, while she has been changing passwords etc, I admit that I have given her a very hard time and severely invaded her privacy by following her, trying to install spyware (but failed) and also doubted what she told me by asking her to show me evidence of where and who she is with (pictures etc)

She said that me being like this is causing her pain and is driving her away, and I know that for a fact, she has been more of an escapist all these years.

The guy isn’t even handsome, in fact, I’m way better looking, fit, and only slightly older. She is just a couple of years younger than me. She told me it is a momentary fling and she wanted to end it even before I discovered it.

With all the emotional roller coaster going on, she has asked me for time alone to sort out her thoughts and to reflect. She told me she wants to save the marriage, wants us to go marriage counseling (but only after I keep being warm and cold unpredictably, guess she cannot handle it).

Since that 2nd time when I found the guys number I have not found any other signs of her contacting him, but they are colleagues thus I don’t know about office communication etc.

She does seem like she wants to make amends, putting in effort for our new house, and also trying to reassure me more.

That being said, I just don’t feel she is fully disclosing. I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it, and as a result pushing her away.
End it. Many of us have been through cheating n i can tell you, the relationship is broken. Will never ever be the same. You deserved better. Life will be better once u accept the fact it is over.

Dont drag on the pain. Pointless.
  #57  
Old 03-09-2018, 02:42 PM
Bullshitlar Bullshitlar is offline
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Re: Betrayed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior View Post
been there with my exes. 6 dating relationships, 6 cheated. Glad no kids and didn't marry those women

Married the 7th one.

Women are not the ones we knew in the past, or our parents time.

Men have become more women like, women have become men like and dominant.

The world is different now.
I agree with u on that. Woman now behavior like man from the 60s...
  #58  
Old 03-09-2018, 09:26 PM
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Re: Betrayed

had 11 gfs before
6 of them cheated
the rest i didnt cheat on any of them.
broke up due to non 3rd party reasons.
  #59  
Old 04-09-2018, 01:16 AM
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Re: Betrayed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bullshitlar View Post
I agree with u on that. Woman now behavior like man from the 60s...
I know a woman who has divorced from her husband based on husband's infidelity but what the husband didn't know through the process is while he was fucking another woman(single lady), his wife was also fucking someone husband. So the poor fucker is paying alimony even though his wife was cheating too. Imagine the difference in the outcome if he had known her dark deeds too.

But she had the holier than thou attitude, telling the whole world the husband cheated. If confronted about her own actions she remarked that 1. she was only playing with this other man. 2. she will let go anytime she is discovered by the other guys wife 3. she doesn't want to break up his marriage(so she is more moral than her husband and the lass he is banging)

so women can be scary. they can so critical of the man's indiscretions but when its their own, they can hide the darkest secrets and her female mates will side her and cover the matter with her in justification. neither does she care that the husband's woman whom she deem as a slut, is really a reflection of her. she doesn't care about the feelings of the woman whose husband she is screwing too.

for her pic. look at my recent post in milf

all I can say is poor bro. if only you knew.
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  #60  
Old 04-09-2018, 01:30 AM
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Re: Betrayed

Quote:
Originally Posted by sammyboyfor View Post
I honestly think that commercial sex is the way to go. It's cheaper, more enjoyable and offers far more variety.

For example instead of trying to persuade a wife to have a threesome all you need to do is book two girls for a tarma session.

If you want anal sex offer the right girl enough money and your wishes are granted.

The $4000 per month could you buying you $400 high quality fucks 10 times a month which is more than twice per week. This is far more sex than most people get from their wives after a few years of marriage.

The best part of the deal is you don't have to fuck the same girl 10 times a month you can have a fresh new face on a regular basis.

Once in a while you can treat yourself to a high quality $2000 fuck and you'll still be saving money compared to what a marriage costs.
Hahaha..power la, I like your logic!
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