Matters of the Heart.Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.
At this instance, my mind was only how to tame my wife, how to make my wife forgive me and not go for a divorce. I decided to meet and galfren and break off with her. But i know deep inside these 3 years i was very happy with her and i know i love her very deeply. Letting go of her is as good as forsaking my happiness. Anyway, long story short, we agree to give each other some personal space and time. We stop meeting each other but continue to text each other everyday and would chat on the phone whenever possible. This was one way for both of us to lean on something so heart not as pain.
During the initial weeks was hell for me. My wife would wake up in the middle of the night and start to emo, and i have to wake up also to pacify her. Sleep was a luxury for me cos she has difficulty falling asleep. I would stay up all night listening to her shooting me why i do such a thing to her, why this, why that.....
This went on for many weeks.... i was deprived from sleep, i was like a walking zombie... but deep down i know i caused this upon myself. No one to blame. Day time i would receive text from my wife where am i, what am i doing etc etc.... when i reply late, she will suspect i am with my galfren and create a hoohaa...
It was really torturing. But because i created all these shit, i just gotta deal with it and hope for the best. Gradually she became more forgiving and the sleepless nights and emo reduced. But on and off would still bring it up, and when that happened, i would be deprive from sleep again and would have to listen to her shooting again.
My wife was also helping herself to move on by reading a lot of articles on the internet. It was really heartwarming. I mean after what i did to her, instead of simply wait for me to pacify her and do things to help her move on, she self help as well.
During this trying period, we literally have sex everyday. I am going into as much details as possible so bros with similar plight can expect how your wife would or might react. I went to read up some articles myself and this is a normal symptom for women to react.
Wah i gotta hand it to bro for sticking it out. From the accusing sms to the late night emos, i would have just called the marriage and gone our separate ways. Mad respect bro
Re: An experience to share - my marriage and my outside girl
The outside world is always full of temptations and comparison is always quick and almost always favour the outside world. Familiar with what we are seeing everyday and we choose only to compare the good temptations with the internal boring stuff, and start to imagine how wonderful it will be. After the initial excitement, when things settled down, we will be looking for new excitement because it take less effort to get the thrill of new stuff as our imagination will take over. The cycle goes on.
Re: An experience to share - my marriage and my outside girl
To me, everything I do or how my wife behaved or reacted that may not be what I would hope to see, i’ll Just take a step back and see why she behaved or reacted in a certain way.... instead of simply flaring it off. Life’s is short.... dun waste it unnecessarily.
Re: An experience to share - my marriage and my outside girl
Quote:
Originally Posted by RTTO
At this instance, my mind was only how to tame my wife, how to make my wife forgive me and not go for a divorce. I decided to meet and galfren and break off with her. But i know deep inside these 3 years i was very happy with her and i know i love her very deeply. Letting go of her is as good as forsaking my happiness. Anyway, long story short, we agree to give each other some personal space and time. We stop meeting each other but continue to text each other everyday and would chat on the phone whenever possible. This was one way for both of us to lean on something so heart not as pain.
During the initial weeks was hell for me. My wife would wake up in the middle of the night and start to emo, and i have to wake up also to pacify her. Sleep was a luxury for me cos she has difficulty falling asleep. I would stay up all night listening to her shooting me why i do such a thing to her, why this, why that.....
This went on for many weeks.... i was deprived from sleep, i was like a walking zombie... but deep down i know i caused this upon myself. No one to blame. Day time i would receive text from my wife where am i, what am i doing etc etc.... when i reply late, she will suspect i am with my galfren and create a hoohaa...
It was really torturing. But because i created all these shit, i just gotta deal with it and hope for the best. Gradually she became more forgiving and the sleepless nights and emo reduced. But on and off would still bring it up, and when that happened, i would be deprive from sleep again and would have to listen to her shooting again.
My wife was also helping herself to move on by reading a lot of articles on the internet. It was really heartwarming. I mean after what i did to her, instead of simply wait for me to pacify her and do things to help her move on, she self help as well.
During this trying period, we literally have sex everyday. I am going into as much details as possible so bros with similar plight can expect how your wife would or might react. I went to read up some articles myself and this is a normal symptom for women to react.
thanks bro for sharing, this was exactly the same situation I am in with my cheating hub. but I guess he is much oblivious to notice if I have also been trying to self-help or even reflect back on how I have been coping and upholding the family while he took the easy way out to fufil his sexual and emotional desire. Now he claims he wishes to repent but idk if its just some easy cajoling or if he means business
Re: An experience to share - my marriage and my outside girl
Quote:
Originally Posted by dion8et
thanks bro for sharing, this was exactly the same situation I am in with my cheating hub. but I guess he is much oblivious to notice if I have also been trying to self-help or even reflect back on how I have been coping and upholding the family while he took the easy way out to fufil his sexual and emotional desire. Now he claims he wishes to repent but idk if its just some easy cajoling or if he means business
If u think u are able to face him and move on, do give him a benefit of doubt. By doing so, u aren’t only giving him a chance but also for yourself and your kids (if you have). Everyone makes mistake, big or small, the key is to acknowledge the mistake you made and how to make it up for your other half. 100% trust will never be possible but of cos over the years if he really make it up to u... I’m sure the pain u faced today will diminish eventually. I wish you well!
Re: An experience to share - my marriage and my outside girl
Quote:
Originally Posted by kurtis
thanks bro. you're my motivation and direction.
2 months past since the past deeds were discovered.
I'm still hanging on, and hope it will ride out soon.
Bro, if your wife didn’t divorce you, cherish her even more. Put yourself in her shoe. If it was the other way round, would you give her a chance? If you really want to salvage your marriage, u really need to be very very very patient. Good luck bro!
Re: An experience to share - my marriage and my outside girl
thank you for sharing your story. Gives me perspective on why the spouse cheats yet refusing to let go of the marriage after being found out. I realised many (if not all) of failing marriages results when one or both parties stopped putting in the effort like they used to, and just watch the relationship deteriorates. The excitement is no longer like the dating days, now that kids come into the picture.
I really really like your quote >> spend your time on those who love you unconditionally. Don’t waste it on those who only love you when the conditions are right for them.
Happy that you managed to salvage your marriage with your wife who stood by you no matter what.